email filters, what matters most, and our favorite summer children's book
matrescence missives #19
For the last year I’ve been using a tool called Sanebox for Gmail to automatically filter and organize my personal email. It was life-changing to say the least. I only saw what I actually wanted to see in my inbox. I was much more likely to engage and respond to important things.
Then…
… last week while poolside and completely unplugged from email, I let my annual payment on Sanebox lapse. The flood gates opened. Chaos ensued. Labor Day sales were clicked and eyes glazed over as the newsletters, marketing and junk rolled in.
For a moment, I thought could manage without it. Then I came to my senses and remembered how powerful those filters were. With so little discretionary time, a whole lot of responsibilities outside of myself caring for littles, growing a business and career, I will take all the FILTERS I can get.
*This isn’t an advertisement for Sanebox, btw - though I am re-upping my subscription (thanks to , the systems queen for the rec)
As soon as my inbox exploded with the noise of the internet, I realized that personal values are a lot like email filters. They are the gates to what you let in to your life, what you give your attention to. And what you pay attention to grows.
(re)Defining your values is not just a fun exercise. Having a clear set of values (what matters most to you right now, in this season) is like having a customized set of filters on your life - helping you to focus your attention on who, how, and what you spend your time and energy on.
And as new mothers moving through a life transition so massive and disorienting, redefining your values can be the compass you need to get unstuck and back in your NEW flow. Believe me when I say this, this is a powerful tool.
Being clear on your what matters most can help you make complex and messy decisions, can simplify your daily and weekly routines, and can bring more joy, pleasure, and presence to your life.
We spend several weeks in the Redefine Intensive getting clear on your new values, and then several weeks putting them into practice in your actual life. This isn’t your corporate-values-on-a-poster-by-the-water-cooler situation - this is claiming what’s important to you, focusing on that alone, and filtering out the rest.
Questions about the upcoming Redefine Intensive cohort? Reply back to this email. It’s me on the other end and I’d love to hear from you.
Read a Book
P.S. This Friday, Sept. 6th, is National Read a Book Day, so I’m sharing what’s on my current reading list and a few recs for new mamas:
» Our book club is reading Lisa See’s Snowflower and the Secret Fan. *A novel about female friendship and life in 19th-century China)
» My 2 yo is OBSESSED with Lucy Ruth’s Cummins Our Pool and we’ve read it every night for the last 3 months. *If you’re in NYC with littles, this one’s for you.
» Matrescence, by Lucy Jones. *If you’re in it and you want to know you’re not alone, Lucy Jones wrote a book about becoming a mother. “Jones seems to come as close as it’s possible to describing this indescribable moment in a woman’s life.” - Joanna Pocock, The Spectator (UK).
» Beautiful Chaos by Jessica Urlichs, selected poems on motherhood. *For being seen and comforted amidst it all.
P.P.S. If you’re a mom in the early years (~3-4 months+ postpartum all the way through toddler/preschool years) and you’re longing to carve out space for yourself to redefine your own set of values so you can feel more grounded, clear, and aligned on your motherhood journey - then this is for you.
» Program details and sign-up below - Begins Sept. 18th, limited spots for ultimate intimacy, connection and deep, personal support:
psssst - I’m sharing the first part of the program that walks you through the process of acknowledging all that has shifted since becoming a mother for free to all new mamas. Go ahead, take a peek:
Happy September,
Lauren
Hi, I’m Lauren - Certified Matrescence Guide, Identity Doula and Mom of two. I help women in the early years of motherhood restore their life force postpartum, redefine what matters most, and redesign their rhythms and routines to navigate this transformational period with less overwhelm and more ease.