new rhythms on the horizon
matrescence missives #19 - plus a grab-your-tissues moment for moms
This week’s Matrescence Missives comes to you from beautiful, balmy San Diego — I’m on vacation soaking up all the family vibes and wanted to leave you with something short and sweet as we drift into the final weeks of summer and ready ourselves for a new season.
But first, some heart-string tugging:
from a beautiful writer, Jessica Urlichs
"I’ve been the happiest since I’ve had children.
I’ve also been at my lowest.
I’m a much better version of myself.
I also haven’t always liked what I’ve seen when mirrors have been held up to me.
I’ve never been in more company.
And at times never felt so lonely.
Some days I don’t want to end.
Some days I wish away, oh and the guilt from feeling that when they grow so fast.
I’ve never been so sure of who I’m meant to be.
I’ve never wondered so much who I am.
I’ve never felt closer with my husband.
But at times, I’ve never felt more distant.
I believe in myself, I trust myself.
I’ve questioned myself and doubted myself.
I always want to be better for them.
But I’ve yelled and cried and wished I’d handled certain situations better.
I’ve never loved so hard and so fiercely.
And I’ve never felt so vulnerable.
I’ve never been more broken.
And I’ve never been more complete.
I’ve never smiled so much.
I’ve never cried so much.
I’ve never craved alone time more.
But when I am I always feel like somethings missing, like an arm.
I’ve never been so excited to watch them grow.
And simultaneously wished they’d stay little forever.
Some days I feel like I’ve achieved nothing.
But as I think of them at night, I know I’ve achieved everything.
I’ve never looked forward to so much.
And I’ve also, never looked back.
It’s one beautiful contradiction.
A journey of wrong turns that are probably still right.
And dreams of the future even if you don’t get enough sleep to dream.
Exhaustion but effortless love.
The hardest and most rewarding thing ever.
Motherhood."
Words by @jessurlichs
A Reminder about Rhythms
My husband and I are grateful to be vacationing with my folks (aka “Gramping”) and get to have a few date nights out. Last night over roasted broccoli and grilled halibut we sat down to plan out the season ahead, laying the early tracks for new family rhythms that come with shifts in childcare, work arrangements, and natural shifts in light, weather, and energy.
I came by a quote by Rudolph Steiner (Waldorf) that so beautifully captures the fundamental need for rhythm for ourselves and for our children:
“Rhythm replaces strength.”
Rudolph Steiner
Mic drop, Rudolph.
To me, this simply means, we can RELY on rhythm. When we’re lacking in strength, willpower, or are overwhelmed with life’s constant twists and turns, we can turn to rhythm. It’s a safety net for our hyper-vigilant, overthinking, research-seeking, worrying-I’m-going-to-mess-them-up brains (just me? 🤷🏽♀️).
With new fall rhythms on the horizon, our brains and bodies are primed for making changes big and small.
Which is why I’m SO excited about the timing of the next Redefine Intensive cohort kicking off Sept. 18th. It kicks off the fall season and leads us straight into the end of the year, setting us up so beautifully with clarity on our values, intentions, and new-found confidence in the way we want to move through the year ahead.
In this 8-week small group cohort, we do the in-depth work of acknowledging the shifts that motherhood has brought and re-defining our own value and gifts as women and mothers.
» PS - I’m sharing the first part of the program that walks you through the process of acknowledging all that has shifted since becoming a mother for free with all new mamas. My gift to you:
We then move into clarity on what matters most to us in this season, redefining a set of values that will guide your decision making big and small - resulting in less overwhelm, more ease, and the ability to do motherhood on YOUR terms.
And finally, we begin to define new rhythms, routines, and ways of being that are more in alignment with the woman and mother we are becoming.
It’s like downloading a new operating system - one that has all the new programming that supports the new features of our identity as mother.
If you’re a mom in the early years (~3-4 months+ postpartum all the way through toddler/preschool years) and you’re longing to carve out space for yourself to process what feels like an identity crisis - then this is for you.
» Program details and sign-up below - Begins Sept. 18th, limited spots for ultimate intimacy, connection and deep, personal support:
And now, off to LegoLand…
Wish us luck,
Lauren
Hi, I’m Lauren - Certified Matrescence Guide, Identity Doula and Mom of two. I help women in the early years of motherhood restore their life force postpartum, redefine what matters most, and redesign their rhythms and routines to navigate this transformational period with less overwhelm and more ease.