put it in the [god] box
matrescence missives #13 - the alternative to having it all figured out
We can worry ourselves sick trying to “figure it out” and feel like we have the next phase mapped out and settled. This is such a common and natural experience of becoming a mother - arguably one of the most powerful transition points in our lives.
So much of what we used to know, do, feel, be, want can feel like it’s slipped away from us without a proper goodbye. Unrecognized grief for the pieces of us we’ve lost.
We become mothers, and we enter the liminal space - just us, with our thoughts and ample time to reflect and care for our changing identities, well-resourced with the space and time to care for our bodies, minds, and souls.
Just kidding.
We’re often left in the liminal space with bodies depleted, relationships rocked, humans to care for, money to bring in, and voices from the internet coming at us from every angle telling us how we can get it all done and be grateful at the same time.
The women I work with come to me at a juncture - a pivotal point in their liminal space where they realize motherhood has shifted things so much that their old way of being isn’t working for them anymore or it’s time they figure out what’s next for them.
I LOVE the liminal space. I thrive in this space - it’s why I do this work. The juiciness comes when we tackle the “what’s next” question with a healthy combination of feminine and masculine energy. Equal doses planning and surrender.
"Where we are betwixt and between the familiar and the completely unknown. There alone is our old world left behind, while we are not yet sure of the new existence. That’s a good space where genuine newness can begin. Get there often and stay as long as you can by whatever means possible…This is the sacred space where the old world is able to fall apart, and a bigger world is revealed. If we don’t encounter liminal space in our lives, we start idealizing normalcy. The threshold is God’s waiting room. Here we are taught openness and patience as we come to expect an appointment with the divine Doctor."
~ Richard Rohr, Author/Theologian
What does navigating the liminal space of matrescence look like when you’re working with me?
Intuitive wisdom hits THEN deep planning and small do-able action steps.
A thorough redefining of your values THEN swift decision-making.
Learning to receive deeply, THEN pouring your energy outwards from an overflowing cup.
Making a “plan” AND ALSO surrendering to the divine flow.
Cultivating an active (daily!) practice of surrender and trust has been the secret ingredient in my matrescence journey, from infertility to navigating EPIC meltdowns.
“Put it in the [god] box,” my wisest mentors say. [insert whatever, whoever you can turn something over to - for me, it’s the universe - you do you, boo].
Turn it over, surrender, let it go. These are learned skills - skills that take actual practice to build the muscle so it flexes consistently when needed.
Next week I’ll share two of my favorite tools for navigating the liminal space of early motherhood. Stay tuned…
Please share this with a friend who could use a dose of love in their inbox.
Until then, take that thing that’s causing you the most worry, fear, or anxiety and put it in the [god] box.
-Lauren
I help women in the early years of motherhood restore their life force postpartum, redefine what matters most, and redesign their rhythms and routines to navigate this transformational period with less overwhelm and more ease.
» Early bird sign-up is open for the fall cohort of the Redefine Intensive for moms in the early years.
P.P.S. If you’re ready for support NOW and can’t wait until the fall for the next group cohort - reply to this email and let’s get you feeling less overwhelm and more ease while you focus on on what matters most in this season.
Also - these jam cookies were a quick and easy treat I whipped up in my garage while trying not to wake our probably-not-sleeping beauties.