The 90s are in right now. So technically… this makes me cool?
matrescence missives #17 - processing the big stuff, cont.
Last week, I talked about the importance of acknowledging the big, complicated, messy stuff that comes with the transition to motherhood, and the ongoing evolution of our identities as mothers, women, and humans who are in relationship with other people and care about what is going on in the world.
This past week, I created time and space for myself to process something big. I followed a strong craving to make. And right now, that creative expression is flowing into memory keeping. It’s a new-found happy place that took root in 2022 following the birth of my second daughter, my journey through postpartum anxiety & birth trauma, plus a significant and unexpected career transition.
Scrapbooking was something I did time-to-time in the 90s and early 2000s with my mom and my aunts. It was a way we connected as women, away from the distractions of daily life. Chit-chat, laughs, food and crafty stuff. I was a child then, so I had no idea at the time that this hobby, and the coming together around the kitchen table to cut up photos and paper, likely held much deeper layers of meaning for the women in my family.
Cut to now - I’m a millenial mother and I’ve discovered the “modern” world of scrapbooking that embraces way more formats and styles. I’ve found a way of documenting life and family memories that fits more of what I like and can actually make happen in tiny pockets of time away from small humans. It’s a whole thing, trust me.
☝🏽 it’s very late 90s - think baseball card binders with plastic sleeves meets photos meets journaling meets craft supplies. I do feel like I’m outing myself to all of you right now. But in a way, I like to believe that since the 90s are in right now… technically this makes me cool.
Let’s go with it.
Back to the processing: There was pre-dawn crafty time. There was ritual and backyard ceremony. There were sisterhood chats over pricy mocktails that left me feeling seen and lighter than I was before. There were tears, laughs, and splices of life that contained excruciating heartbreak and unbridled joy at the exact same moment. There was a county fair, a baseball game, a visit from the in-laws, and laundry folding.
And behind the scenes, there was an inner grappling of the messy truths that make up motherhood and this incredible developmental passage we are living through called matrescence.
This is the stuff, mamas. This is why the phrase “It takes a village” exists. Wherever you’re at on your journey - know that I see you and you’re not alone. You are indeed going through something. It’s profound, powerful, and can feel like a beautiful, messy, feet-to-the-fire initiation into a new version of yourself.
If you’re in a process too, I’m sharing the five levers I pulled for extra support in hopes you can leverage them too:
Gather your village - write their names down if you need to, so you can see their human-ness in print.
Make time to connect with them - a walk, grab a coffee, send a polo or a quick “I’m thinking of you” text.
Activate your care team - a must-have for new moms - we spend a whole week in the Redefine Intensive setting up a unique-to-you care team and plan for activating it
Spend 30 minutes (or more) doing something that is just for you that fills you up. If you’re stumped on what to do - go with something creative or movement-oriented. Both of these are powerful tools for shifting energy.
Feel the feels - whether that is through meditation, therapy, or some other practice that allows for stillness and introspection. These meditations by
have been on repeat for me these last few weeks:Remembering Trust, by Sarah Blondin (12 min) on Insight Timer
Keeping Your Heart Open: Feel What You Need to Feel, by Sarah Blondin (17 min) on Insight Timer Plus
👩🏽🍼 If you’re a new mom in the thick of it who could use some extra support - here are the ways we can work together:
» Connect with me on Instagram @laurensmithpierson
» Get my free guide outlining the 5 systems to put in place to reduce overwhelm in new motherhood, starting with my weekly menu board system that GETS THE HUMANS FED.
» Subscribe to my free weekly newsletter, , with practical tools, insights, and musings for moms in the early years
» Ready to dive deep? Join the Redefine Intensive - my signature small group program for new moms who want to find their flow, get back in alignment, and experience less overwhelm and more ease in motherhood. Enrolling now for the fall cohort - kicks off Sept. 18th, spots are limited »
P.S. If you know of someone who could benefit from this work, I’d be so grateful if you shared it with them. My body of work relies on human-to-human connection because lord knows I have not figured out this whole algorithm thing ; )
Thanks for sharing these moments with me. ‘Til next week,
Lauren
Hi, I’m Lauren - Certified Matrescence Guide, Identity Doula and Mom of two. I help women in the early years of motherhood restore their life force postpartum, redefine what matters most, and redesign their rhythms and routines to navigate this transformational period with less overwhelm and more ease.