the newborn fog has lifted, but where do I start?
matrescence missives #16 - make room to process the big stuff
There’s a lot of complicated sh*t we work our way through in motherhood. It’s our own stuff, it’s our kids’ stuff, our partners’ stuff, and the world’s stuff (since we can’t seem to get it together to do the right thing to support new families the way they should be supported in the early years).
It’s all the stuff you are processing and going through as you transition into motherhood (physically, emotionally, spiritually, hormonally, relationally - you name it)…
career pivots or pauses
sleep deprivation
an unrelenting hunger for a new dream you didn’t know you had
physical and emotional depletion from creating and sustaining new life
the feeling of a lost self- grateful and grieving at the same time
It’s all REALLY big stuff.
So what do we do about it?
For starters, I vote that we acknowledge what has shifted. We do this first, for ourselves, and then we can begin to work with each piece externally.
When we deeply acknowledge the weight of this life transition (aka “matrescence”), we begin to value our experience differently.
When we value our experience differently, we begin to treat ourselves differently.
When we treat ourselves differently, we show others how we should be treated.
Or as Beth Berry writes in her book Motherwhelmed,
When we value ourselves and hold ourselves in high regard, the world rearranges itself around us to reflect that.
The first few years of motherhood can feel like a whirlwind. At some point, you begin to feel the fog lift, and you look around to notice that things feel different. Maybe some parts of you are very much intact, yet others seem unrecognizable.
From this foundation of deep acknowledgement, you can begin to sift through the areas of your life that feel the most sticky or out of alignment.
But instead of coming from a place of self-judgement, lack, or criticism, you come from a place of deep self-compassion and empathy for the radical transformation you are going through.
IMO - this is the magic of the word matrescence. Discovering the concept of matrescence changed my life because it catalyzed a new way of relating to myself as I move through motherhood. It’s why I do this work.
I often start my work by having mothers reflect on the birth of themselves as a mother. Powerful prompts that access your deep inner knowing and bring the voice of your maternal intuition to center stage.
Are you ready to start processing all that has shifted since becoming a mother and find your new flow in motherhood?
**The Redefine Intensive does exactly that - the fall cohort of my small group program for new moms seeking less overwhelm and more ease is ENROLLING NOW for a Sept. 18th kickoff, spots are limited.
» We do the deep inner work, then work our way towards the practical.
» Navigating the identity shift, then navigating weekly meal plans.
» Simplify and systemize what you can in daily life, then make room for the big stuff.
Ready to work together? Reserve your spot in the fall cohort or reply to this email to 1:1 coaching options.
» P.S. Click below and I’ll send you my free guide outlining the 5 systems to put in place to reduce overwhelm in new motherhood, starting with the weekly menu board system.
pssst - this also gets you on the list for more info about my upcoming digital course on Meal Planning & Prep for families in the thick of it - a comprehensive step-by-step process for getting your family’s meals HANDLED (completely customizable to your needs, your season, your resources).
If you found this helpful, please share this with a friend who could use a dose of love in their inbox.
Let’s do this together, mama.
Lauren
I help women in the early years of motherhood restore their life force postpartum, redefine what matters most, and redesign their rhythms and routines to navigate this transformational period with less overwhelm and more ease.
P.P.S. If you’re ready for support NOW and can’t wait until the fall for the next group cohort - reply to this email to work together.