What If... & Show Me...
matrescence missives #14 - two simple tools for navigating the in-between
Last week, I talked about the liminal space that is early motherhood.
Nancy Levin describes it as “the space between the no longer and not yet.”
I can’t think of a better crash course in navigating the liminal space than the first year of motherhood. In that first year, so much happens in the first few days, then weeks, then months.
The changes to your inner and outer worlds feel sweeping and fast.
Just when you’ve got your feet under you, things change (you go back to paid work, they start eating solids, they stop sleeping through the night again, etc) and you feel like you’re back to square one, overwhelmed and depleted.
New levels of independence open up for you, and with that - new decisions to be made on where you focus your precious time and attention.
I rely on two very simple tools to get me through the uncomfortable uncertainty that comes along with the liminal space; that time between the unbecoming and the becoming…
Tool #1: What If….
Asking powerful questions of myself and others has long been a superpower of mine. If you are wanting to open yourself up to possibilities and desires that are calling to you, but you don’t know the exact how for making it happen yet, ask yourself (or put it to the universe/spirit/you name it):
“What if …”
Some examples:
What if I stopped thinking something might be “wrong” with my deeply-feeling little one and focused on meeting her where she’s at right now?
What if I gave myself the time I needed to heal my body and spirit before I focused on xyz…?
What if there was a way to pursue meaningful paid work and have the flexibility and space I desire right now?
Tool #2: Show me…
Think of this as a prayer or an open letter to the universe (again - find the language or concept that feels right to you). It’s like the opening of a magical conversation that is going to unfold in exactly the right timing, because it starts with you acknowledging your true desires - the first ingredient in co-creation.
Here’s an example of a “show me” prayer I’ve been focusing on in this season:
Show me how to tend to myself, my family, and my home… without the burnout and the overwhelm.
Often our minds won’t let us even consider the possibility of what we truly desire because the mind doesn’t know how it will happen or come to be. And our minds don’t like that GAP.
A show me prayer is a way around that. You don’t need to know the how, just start with what is calling you.
A Resource:
Sarah Tacy has a beautiful podcast called Threshold moments where she often ends her conversations with a “show me” prayer - check them out for some inspo + some great nervous system support.
If you’d like support in navigating the liminal space that is early motherhood, check out my P.S. down below👇🏽
If you found this helpful, please share this with a friend who could use a dose of love in their inbox.
Have a wonderful week,
Lauren
P.S. If you find yourself in this liminal of early motherhood, feeling uncertain or lost or unmoored - I’ve got something for you. In the Redefine Intensive, we dive deep into the liminal space, grounded in the lens of matrescence. This is a small group program for moms in the early years seeking clarity, connection, ease.
Based on feedback from past clients, we will now be meeting for 8 weeks b/c this stuff is too damn juicy. Life-changing prompts + tools + support + connection.
*Enrolling now for the fall Redefine Intensive cohort beginning Sept. 18th - 8 spots only.
**EARLY BIRD SIGN-UP bonus available through Aug. 20th.
I help women in the early years of motherhood restore their life force postpartum, redefine what matters most, and redesign their rhythms and routines to navigate this transformational period with less overwhelm and more ease.
P.P.S. If you’re ready for support NOW and can’t wait until the fall for the next group cohort - reply to this email and let’s get you feeling less overwhelm and more ease while you focus on on what matters most in this season.